


end.

by Anonymous



Series: anonymous vent fics [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lowercase, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26962771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: he just wants everything to stop, even if it's just for a moment.
Series: anonymous vent fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172948
Kudos: 11
Collections: Anonymous





	end.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a vent fic; i'm struggling a lot mentally and this is my way to get it out. please be cautious if you're sensitive to things like self harm, suicide, and emotional abuse! also, in this fic, mingi is autistic (as i'm also autistic) and is having a meltdown; references to sensory issues are also present.

_why won't they stop?_ mingi thought, frustrated with the amount of tears streaming down his cheeks as sobs shook his body. _why can't i stop crying?_

all it took for him to reach this meltdown state was his mom's venomous words. the venom spewed from her mouth was "his fault"-- it always was his fault. today, it was because he didn't like the texture of something she cooked. _y_ _ou ungrateful, selfish brat_ , she had said, _i fucking feed you and you don't like the food? that's so fucking selfish, mingi_. 

it really wasn't his fault, he told himself even as she continued yelling at him for crying in response. _it's not my fault i'm like this!_ he wanted to yell, but he knew better. he didn't want to get in even more trouble. she pretended that he wasn't autistic, that he didn't have anxiety or adhd or whatever else he had. he was _supposed_ to be perfect, like his brother. but, even he was treated horribly, beaten down verbally nonstop. his mom didn't seem to care.

he wanted this to stop. he didn't care how it should stop; he just wanted it to fucking end. he wanted all of the abuse to stop, wanted all the scars on his arms and thighs to disappear. wanted to die.

 _no, no, no! i don't want to die!_ he yelled at himself. he knew it was because he was tired of living through this shit, but he couldn't shake that lingering feeling of wanting to just end it all, just disappear from the world so he didn't have to put up with this. he didn't care if his friends missed him at that moment; rationally, he knew they would, but a small part of him said they wouldn't, which added onto his emotional overload. his friends were the only good things he had left.

how he wished he was happy.


End file.
